


I Want To Know (Is She All You Wanted?)

by fishingwild



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Heavy Angst, Lena Luthor Needs Therapy, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Temporary Breakup, minor agentreign
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-28 18:00:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17792117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishingwild/pseuds/fishingwild
Summary: Lena doesn’t come to the decision easily. She spends days debating with herself if this is the best thing to do, but deep down she knows that it is. Kara deserves the world, and Lena is only putting her in more danger.- - - - - -She could fly with Kara. Save people with her. She’s a good person. She deserves Kara. They deserve each other.ORAfter an attempted murder, Lena comes to the decision that Kara deserves to be happy, and that isn't with her.





	I Want To Know (Is She All You Wanted?)

**Author's Note:**

> This is a very angsty fic!!! And it has Kara dating someone other than Lena!! A happy ending is promised, but you have to get through the angst. Please only read if you are okay with that. 
> 
> This fic is inspired by the song "I Wanna Know" by NOTD, and I highly recommend a listen before or while reading it!! 
> 
> Thank you always to @danigobingo to editing this before hand!! You're a superstar!!

The screams had long since stopped. The sound of gunshots ceasing long before them. They had been walking back to Kara’s apartment on a particularly sunny day, the sun seeming more white than yellow. Kara has reacted first, protecting Lena with her body as the gunshots began. After taking care of the assailant, she returned as Supergirl to make sure Lena got home safely. In the CEO’s apartment, the Super borrowed some of her girlfriend’s clothes, hers being riddled with bullet holes. Once Kara had fallen asleep for the night, after triple checking the building and any neighboring ones for threats, Lena stared at her girlfriend’s ruined cardigan. If anyone had seen Kara protecting her, it could expose her as Supergirl. Kara shouldn’t risk herself like that for a Luthor. She deserves better.

Lena doesn’t come to the decision easily. She spends days debating with herself if this is the best thing to do, but deep down she knows that it is. Kara deserves the world, and Lena is only putting her in more danger. She knocks on her girlfriend’s door, twisting her hands as she waits. Kara’s beautiful face appears a moment later, her signature sunny smile briefly making Lena wonder if this is the right decision.

“Lena! I wasn’t expecting you. Come in.”

Lena makes her way in and Kara begins her usual adorable ramble. “If I had known you were coming, I could have picked up some dinner. Oh! How about I fly to Japan real fast to get you that sushi you really like? I’ll only be gone about a half hour, tops!” Her girlfriend eagerly says as she’s practically half out her window.

“Kara. No, no. I came here for a different reason...” the Luthor begins, taking one last moment to steal her courage. She takes a deep breath, looking Kara face on as she rips off the band aid. “I think we should break up.”

Kara’s face twists in confusion and she takes a step towards the brunette. “What do you mean? Is this some weird human term I don’t understand?”

“No, Kara. I want to end our relationship.”

The crestfallen look that plants itself on the super’s face would make even the most cold-blooded killer rethink their actions. Lena has to remind herself once more as to why she’s doing this, remind herself that this is best for Kara. Kara deserves better.

“What? Why? Did I do something? Lena, I’m sure we can talk about this.”

“This is better for both of us, Kara. The other day with that attack, if someone had seen the bullet holes in your clothing your secret would have been out. It’s too dangerous for you to date me. And I have a company to run. This was never going to work.” Lena says the words that she’s been practicing over and over in her head for days. Perfecting it to not show any doubt in her decision.

“Lena,” Kara says with a sob, tears welling up in her eyes.

“This is for the best. For both of us.”

“But I lo-”

“Don’t finish that sentence, Kara. My mind is made up,” Lena says more sternly than she intended, keeping her emotions in check. She couldn’t cry. Not here. “I hope you find someone who will make you happy and keep you safe.” And with that Lena leaves the apartment. She doesn’t hear the blonde collapse to the floor in a fit of sobs. She makes her way to her own apartment, reminding herself that what she did was right. It doesn’t feel right at that moment, but she knows it is. Kara deserves so much better. And she can have that, but not with Lena.

\- - - - - - - - - - -

As the months pass, Lena knows she made the right decision. The morning after, she got a visit from a very angry Alex Danvers. It had been expected, and Lena handled it with the grace any CEO would have in a business meeting. The only one of the Super-friends she saw for a while was Sam. And even then, Alex was unhappy with her girlfriend spending time with the girl who broke her baby sister’s, heart. Sam tried to get Lena to open up about her real reason behind the break up, but no one was going to find out why she had actually done it. None of them would understand.

The next time she sees any of her old friends is when Brainy asks for her assistance with a DEO matter. Neither of the Danvers sisters were with him, and she isn’t even sure if her help is welcome. But she helps the Coluan regardless, and she’s happy to see a familiar face, even if his voice sounded a little different. A little less robotic than normal.

A few weeks later Sam shows up to dinner at her apartment with Alex in tow. Lena hadn’t seen the older Danvers since the morning after her break up with Kara, but she didn’t look as angry this time. They shared a nice meal, and as they moved into the living room, the reason for Alex’s presence was made known.

“As you know, I have to go out of town for some work, and Ruby is coming along to visit some old friends in Metropolis.”

“Is Alex going with you? If I had known, I would have added a third airline ticket and stipend to the trip. I can do it no problem.”

“I can’t go, I have work stuff to take care of.” Alex explains as she pours herself more wine.

“Oh. Well alright.”

“Alex actually has something she wants to ask you,” Sam says, nudging her girlfriend in the ribs.

“Yeah, uh, as you know, game night is super competitive. And well, there’s one this Friday and with Sam there we’re short a person. You wanna go?” Lena stares at the two in shock. She hadn’t expected to be invited to another game night ever again.

“I thought you hated me.” She wasn’t planning on saying that. She wanted to sound more dignified, not shocked.

“I hated you for a while. But you’re still a good person. And Kara is happy. That’s all I want for her.” The CEO nods her head, relief flooding her body. She hadn’t seen Kara in quite some time to know if she was happy or not.

“Well, I don’t really see why I should say no. As long as Kara would be okay with my being there.”

“We both know how nice she is. There’s no way she wouldn’t let you come. And besides, someone needs to give her and Imra a run for their money. They’ve yet to lose a game night since becoming partners.”

Lena recognizes the name. She’s a part of the Legion with Brainy.

“Looks like we’ll need to remind them what it’s like to lose.”

\- - - - - - - - - - -

Being teammates with the other Danvers sister wasn’t the same. She didn’t make her laugh uninhibitedly, allowing her shoulders to drop, her daily stress fading away, if only for an instant. But Lena’s feelings didn’t matter. Not next to Kara’s. And she looked happy. Imra was making her happy.

Lena knew she couldn’t compare herself to Imra; she’s only human. She’s very beautiful. Perfect skin. Not pale like her own. She has a fascinating accent. More appealing than her own Irish lilt. And she was a superhero. She could fly with Kara. Save people with her. She’s a good person. She deserves Kara. They deserve each other.

They won, just like Alex had predicted. Kara looks happy by the Legionnaire’s side. Happier than she ever seemed with Lena. As she gets driven home that night, Lena knows she made the right choice, Kara is better off. She doesn’t notice the way the moon shines a bit brighter than usual, making everything look crisper.

\- - - - - - - - - - -

The thing about being the CEO of a company that used to be run by a maniac is that those who were loyal to him are unhappy with the change in management. And continuously try to murder the new boss. A bomb threat had been called in and the whole building was forced to evacuate. Supergirl had luckily found the bomb and disposed of it before any harm could be done. Lena was finally allowed back into her office and she began scrolling through the many emails she had missed and not a minute later she hears the unmistakable sound of Supergirl landing on her balcony. Then a gentle knock on the glass. Lena waves her in, realizing this is the first time the two have been alone together since the breakup.

“You didn’t have to knock.”

“I thought it would be polite.”

“You just saved hundreds of my employees. I should be thanking you. You didn’t have to do that.”

Kara waves her off and goes to fix the glasses that aren’t a on her face. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Bomb and death threats are common for me. Nothing I can’t handle.”

“I’m glad to hear that. How are you doing?”

“Well I just lost two hours of work, so I’m quite busy at the moment.”

“I wasn’t asking about work.”

There’s a moment of silence.

“I’m fine. How are you? How’s Imra? Alex has told me about how close you two have gotten.”

The Super looks down, a smile and small blush on her face. “I’m good. Imra’s good. I hope game night wasn’t awkward for you with her being there.”

“Not at all. I’m glad to see you happy. That’s all I want for you.”

“Same with me,” Kara looks around the office for a moment, before looking back at Lena. “I should let you get back to work. Be careful with these guys running around. They really want to get to you.”

“We both know I’m not careful,” Lena says playfully and the two share a laugh. With one more warning to be careful the super is then gone. Lena’s doubt has finally been erased. Kara is happy. She’s really happy.

Lena joins in on a few more activities with the Super-friends over the next few weeks. Kara and Imra always next to each other, making the other smile and laugh. Kara’s warning comes to fruition much sooner than Lena expected. Not even a month later, an alien attacks the L-Corp building. Both Supergirl and Saturn Girl come to the rescue, quickly subduing the creature. DEO agents escort it away and the two superheroes make their way to Lena’s office.

“Lena, are you alright?”

“I’m fine, Kara. The alien didn’t get close to this floor, thanks to you two.”

There’s a commotion outside of her office, loud voices before someone comes bursting through her door.

“Lena!”

All three people in the room look shocked to see Kara, wearing her usual khaki pants and button up shirt, glasses askew on her face.

“Kara? How are you here?” Lena asks bewildered, looking between the Super and Kara. Supergirl and Imra turn towards Kara, menacing looks affixed on their faces. 

“Lena, this world isn’t real. You need to come with me now.”

“She’s not dating you here. She’s happier now. Leave and never return.” Supergirl says, wrapping her arm around Imra.

“Lena, how are you happier here? We aren’t together.”

“You deserve better than me, Kara. I’m not good for you.”

“She isn’t. I’m so much happier with Imra than I ever was with her.”

“Lena, I love you. I only want to be with you.”

Lena’s thoughts waver. She has to be insane. How can this not be real? Kara is happy here. Is she? The building begins to shake, small bits of ceiling falling. Lena takes a step closer to Kara and Supergirl and Imra grab her.

“You’re happier here, Lena. I’m happier here,” Supergirl says.

“I love you, Lena. Come home! This isn’t real!”

Lena struggles against the hold of the two superheroes. The building shakes some more, the ground cracking beneath them. Lena struggles against her captors, and then the ground breaks open beneath Kara, swallowing her.

“Kara!” Lena screams, ripping herself from the grasp of the two superheroes. She runs to where Kara was standing and jumps into the hole now there. She doesn’t care if she could die. She doesn’t care if this is the end. If there’s any way she can save Kara, she will. She feels her hand grab another, and then blacks out.

\- - - - - - - - - - -

Bright light fills the room, Lena slowly regaining consciousness. She hears muffled noise, and then feels someone gripping her arm.

“Lena. Lena.” The voice gets louder, more urgent, and she turns her head. Kara is standing above her, crying, and Lena grabs her arm.

“Are you okay?” Her voice sounds rough, like she hasn’t talked in weeks.

“I’m fine. Are you alright? We were afraid we didn’t get to you in time.”

Lena forces herself to sit up and she finally notices everyone else in the room. Alex is to her left by some monitors, and she can see the glassy look in the red-head’s eyes. Brainy is at the edge of the bed, looking at something on the ground. Lena shifts, seeing an odd creature that looks like flowers, but with tentacles.

“Kara, what is that?”

“It’s a black mercy... I found you about a week ago in your apartment and it was attached to you.”

“What does it do?”

Kara looks down at the bed, and Alex clears her throat. “It’s a creature that attaches itself to a host, feeding off of them. It traps them in their perfect world and keeps them trapped there until the host is dead. One affected Kara about two years ago.”

Lena looks at her girlfriend, sees the distraught look haunting her. “Can we have some privacy?” She asks quietly, and everyone quickly clears the room.

“I saw my family back on Krypton... but it wasn’t right. There were small signs that it wasn’t real.”

“Mine had the same thing...”

Kara takes a moment, seemingly building up the courage to ask the question on her mind. “In your perfect world, are we really not dating? Do you not want to be with me?”

“No, Kara. No.” Lena quickly reassures her girlfriend. “I love you. But in my perfect world, you’re happy. And I guess somewhere in my mind, I believe that you’re happiest without me. Better off without me. That thought kept running through my head the entire time. You deserve all of the happiness this world has to offer, and I can’t give it to you.”

Kara reaches for her girlfriend’s hands, squeezing them reassuringly. “Yes, you can, Lena. You make me happy. You make me so fucking happy every time you walk into a room. Just the sight of you brightens me day. I love you and I only want to be with you.”

“You’re really happy with me?”

“The happiest.”

“I don’t want to break up with you. Doing it in that fake world was agonizing.” The blonde let’s out a lighthearted laugh.

“I can’t even imagine what heartbreaking face I must have given you.”

“Don’t laugh,” Lena says with a chuckle of her own. “It was heartbreaking. You looked like I had just shot your dog.”

“Well you’ll never see me give you that look if you don’t break up with me.”

Lena cups Kara’s face in her hand. “I don’t plan on it, darling,” and kisses her girlfriend like she hasn’t kissed her in months.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed!!! Come chat with me on Tumblr @fishinwild if you want to talk about Supercorp or anything else Supergirl!!!


End file.
